Which super hero am I?

I took this little test and was pleased with the results:


Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 65% Iron Man 55% Superman 55% Wonder Woman 48% Green Lantern 45% The Flash 45% Robin 43% Supergirl 43% Catwoman 35% Batman 35% Hulk 25%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Alaska: Day 1, Part 2

After the Captain of the ship was tossed, the cruise finally begun. Being my first cruise, I was unaware of the procedures that are expected to be followed. One such requirement was an emergency drill. So, we are in the room waiting for the signal and then it happens. We run to the mustardation site assigned to us with our life jackets on. Life jackets, by the way, that were not made for someone of my magnitude. I wasn't even sure I would float with one of those things on me.

Nothing really exciting happened during the drill of interest, but I had an eerie feeling during it. For some reason, in my mind, I thought of the nazis lining up the Jews in Germany and just pushing them in massive graves. Not the best image to have when starting a trip, but I just couldn't help thinking how massive a grave the ocean is. That and I thought of the Pink Flyod movie "The Wall". You know the part where the kids are being dropped in the meat grinder? That one.

Then of course I thought of pirates. I thought of the pirate who goes into a bar with the steering wheel of his ship stuck in his pants. The bartender asks him if it hurts and the pirate responds, "Arrgghhh...its driving me nuts!!"

I thought alot about pirates. Not of pirates coming onto the cruise ship. I know the Alaskan cruises don't attract the pirates like the Islands might. No, I thought about me becoming a pirate and living out on the ocean, robbing cruise ships of their bountiful vitals and treasures. Man, I wish I was a pirate.

Alaska: day 1, Part 1.

Captain's Log: 14:00, 19/5/06.

The Firshed daze of da cruuushe. I love being the capshion of dish ship. Eyes can't wait to getch to the open shees. Better drinks more of thish shmirnoff bottled water though sho I shober upss quishly. I donsh wans ta shteer thish baby inta land whensh we shhhoove off.

Captain's Log: 16:00, 19/5/06.

Yo Ho and A BoTtLe oF rUM. Thatsh what I'm shingin. Give me a bott el and shwab up the deck, shlo-bo and a mottle of bum.

Whatsh thar shound I'm hearin now? Shomone ish snocking on missa door. Goes away. Imsha catman of thish veshel and your shnot. Hey, gets outta here. Who arshe yous guys. Why are you pussshhing me off the ssshhiip? I'm the catman! I'm the Capshion! I'm the cushion! Shhiitt.

A hard rain

For the last 9 months I have lived in the desert. Last night and this morning (continuing as I type this post), the skies have opened up and let loose for the first time. It has rained a few times for a few minutes since I have been here, and I have heard that it has rained a few times that I was out of town (it even snowed I heard), but this is the first I have seen.

I love the rain, especially when the day before it rains it is 95 degrees and the day after it is 65. Of course one draw back is power failures. Yesterday I lost power a total of 3 times. There is nothing more boring than not having electricity. I read by candlelight, but that became uncomfortable. I drained out the battery of my laptop watching a part of a movie. I listened to music on the i-pod. But even though it seems I had much to do, one thing was a constant reminder to me; every minute the power was off was another push in the temperature of my place. My usual fridge-like home slowly was turning into a sauna...and there was nothing I could do.

Realistically, it never got too bad, but in my mind it was horrible and I started getting warmer and warmer, silently pleading for the gods of electrical wires to do their thing. Alas, a few hours later all was well. The rain continued to reek havoc, but the comforting sound of air rushing through vents returned and I was free from the torment of waking hours.

I might have to change the name of the blog to something else due to the fact that starting Wednesday of next week, I don't think I will actually be in Roswell for a long time. I don't like posting this information publicly, but since I will have a house sitter at my place, I feel a bit safer sending this out.

It's the end of the semester. As I write this post, I have no more classes to teach until my online courses start in June. All that is left for me to do is attend graduation tonight and grade like a muthaf'er this weekend. The semester flew by, and I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment here to publicly thank all of the wonderful people in my department for making this a great first year of employment. Without them, I'd have gone batty by now. So, Bob, Bob, Jenni, Alan, Rick, Lloyd, Grace, Bill, Maureen, Annemarie, Kate, Sherry and Helen, thanks a million!

That being said, Wednesday I start my summer of teaching, researching the play and visiting. Alaska is first on the list. That's next week. Then, my friends in Dallas, I'm coming to you for two weeks. After that Mein Bruder, I will be heading out to So-Cal for your graduation and to visit. After a quick stop, I will be on my way to Philly for a large chunck of time starting June 23rd.

So...check in still cause I'll be updating as often as possible from wherever I am. See you soon!

Free Comic Book Day

Sorry it's been a few days since I have posted. It's the end of the semester and things are crazy busy here. Besides that, I was in Dallas for a few days (I guess that's how things end up crazy, huh?). Well...it'll all be over soon. I have three more classes to teach then a bunch of grading and then vacation time.

But enough about scheduling. I wanted to take a minute to thank Chris and Chris over at Madness Comics for having me in this past weekend. They put on the absolute best free comic book day event you could hope for. Their store looked more like a convention site on Saturday then a comic shop. From 10:00am and continuing throughout the day, people piled in to the shop.

Their were free comics, yes, but every store had free comics that day. The Chris's just know what they are doing, and that makes all the difference. One cool thing they did was to invite Stormtroopers and Darth Vader to stalk the vicinity of the store. They pulled people in off the street, took pictures with the kids and were just all around a major asset.

Inside the store, if you could see past the multitudes of customers, there was a panel of guests at tables talking to anyone interested. They had a couple local comic creators there who were young and talented and ready to take on the world (more on them in another post). They had Rick Hoberg and Steve Bennett, both whom I would have to say I learned alot from during the day. And somehow or another, there was me, sitting at the table as a guest, talking about comics and scholarship, or classical allusions in comics or whatever someone wanted to talk about.

Rick and Steve kick ass! They are both so unbelievably talented, but more then that they were such a wealth of information. And they were great with the fans. They talked to everyone who wanted to talk and for as long as the person stood there. They didn't rush anyone or shrug anyone off.

Overall, a great day for comic fans in Plano. Ciao.

Alaska revisited

So...I finalized the details for the trip to Alaska yesterday. I gotta tell you: I am an idiot. After spending most of the day on the phone with cruise "experts" only to find out that they only go online and do the same thing we can do, I decided to just book it myself.

You would think that when you type in the parameters for a computer search, the findings would be within those parameters. Nope. I accidently booked a cruise that left from Seward Alaska instead of Seattle. I didn't notice right away, but when I did, I panicked. For one thing, where the hell is Seward Alaska!?!? Sencondly, they don't give refunds on cruises this close to the cruise date. I thought I was screwsville (30 miles south, evidently, of Seward).

Luckily, the fine people of Ceebrity Cruises and Orbitz.com were nice enough to work with me so that I could break the rules and reschedule a cruise for the same week that leaves from Seattle. Thank goodness. And for that my friends...I give myself the first of a new segment here at All's Well that's Roswell:

The SUPER GENIUS Award!

From here on out, each month I will give this award to those befitting the title.

The 5th Wall

Saturday night I had the pleasure of EmCeeing ENMU-R's fund raiser for an art scholarship called "Unleashed." There were two really cool things about the evening. One is that the Comedy Improv troupe I have been working with for the last 3 months finally got a chance to be on stage.

There were moments since we began of triumph and failure. The imoprovers always work hard, but comedy, especially impromptu, is not an easy thing to pick up. I don't think if you are not funny then you never will be, but to train yourself to be funny? Most comedians will tell you they were little goofballs their whole life.

But The 5th Wall, Johnnie, Arnie, Chris, Monica, Bekha, Gigi and Loyce stole the show. They were funny and the audience loved them. So kudos to them for pulling off a tough task.

They had the stage for a half hour in which they did three skits. The first was a version of the dating game where one of the troupe left the building and the audience picked who the contestants would be: rock stars, morticians, sky divers, whatever they wanted. Then they brought the improver back in and his job was to figure out, by questioning, who each was.

The second was "the paper game." Before the night started, one of the troupe got audience members to write words and phrases on paper and fold them up. They were collected right before the improvers hit the stage. The audience then choose a profession and scenario and the improvers, each time a bell was rung, had to incorporate whatever was on the paper into their story. My favorites were: Tickle me elmo, poppycock, is that Frank Sinatra and googly-goo (you had to be there to know why). Anyway...that was hilarious.

The last skit was the toughest to pull of, but it worked well also. It was called "snapshot" and the troupe picked a couple from the audience and brought them on stage. They asked where their last vacation was and then the whole troupe and the two audience members struck poses while the lights went out. When the lights came back on, two of the troupe had to explain the vacation photos. There were about 6 snapshots explained and people loved it.

So all in all a success for The 5th Wall. Congrats to them. The rest of the night was so-so. There was a guy who played electric music which wasn't bad, but got tedious quick. Then there was a karate exposition that was more like a feel good lecture. That got old real quick. And last was a band called Fetish from Artesia whose fetish was obviously for bad, underpracticed and undertalented music.

I got to EmCee from the astral plane. I had a wireless mic and sat in the light booth of the theater and called the show. At first people had no idea what was going on when my voice boomed through the theater. It was funny.

Two more weeks then the semester is over. I'll be coming to a town near you.

National "TV Turnoff Week"

In an attempt to promote this glorious week where we are supposed to take a journey of self discovery and try something new, TV Turnoff Week, I thought I would make a quick note.

If you live in New Mexico and happen to think you see me invading your TV set during a UPS Store commercial, don't fret or get concerned. It is no doppleganger. Fortunately or otherwise, that is me playing the boss in the advertisement. I haven't seen it yet and more then likely will never see it as it plays (I will have a copy on DVD) because it will be playing only on Comcast and Cableone cable in New Mexico. If you live in New Mexico and have one of these cable providers, then you might catch it if you watch your basic cable channels (like CNN or ESPN).

Anyway...I thought I'd let you know so you are not surprised. That way you can laugh with me, not at me.

And the Oscar for best tobbaconist goes to...

Wait a second. Did he just say tobacconist!?!? What the hell does he mean. Well my smoking jacket wearing friends, let me tell you. This weekend I was lucky enough to get to work on a wonderful short film here in Roswell, New Mexico, USA. I was brought on as an acting coach and worked with the director and actors to help the acting stay as close to the directors intention as possible.

But a funny thing happened on the movie set. One of the characters in the movie was required to smoke a ciggarette and then flick it at the camera. Problem was...he never even held a cancer stick before, let alone tossed one. So, as the guy outside smoking, I was naturally asked to become the smoking coach. During the shoot, we went through more then a pack of ciggarettes trying to film a scene that will probably end up about 2 minutes max on the screen.

I don't know how many films hire a tobacconist, and I am sure I am not the first, but, I have to say, it is the pinnacle of my movie career to date. Give me my Oscar, you Hollywood curs!!!

A good thing?

Recently, I was talked into getting a myspace account. For those of you who may not know what myspace is, it is a place on the web for people to show that they have friends, make business connections, find dates, or just plain screw around. Well...I pretty much don't bother with stuff like that, but because it seemed so many people I knew were up and running there, I figured what the hay.

As a big surprise to me, I quickly realized a wonderful thing about it; you can be reconnected with people you haven't heard from in forever (this might not always be a good thing). I had a chance to talk to an old friend of mine who I haven't been able to contact in years. So now I am a believer. The rest of it still seems kind of goofy to me, with the only other benefit so far being reading the rants and oddities from a certain friend of this blog who shall remain nameless.

Have a good weekend

Alaska

As this semester winds down, I have started giving some thought to what I should do with some of my vacation time this year. The one thing that keeps popping in my mind is Alaska: more specifically, an Alaskan cruise. I have been out there before, but never on a ship.

I have been doing some research on it for the last couple of weeks and have found incredably cheap cruises in the latter part of May. The only problem is that the prices are based on double occupancy. The cost for one person to go is about the same as two.

So my first question is, any of y'all wanna go to Alaska with me in May? A 7 night all inclusive (except airfare) is as cheap as 700 bucks! Don't get me wrong, I can find someone to go with, but I want to have fun. Let me explain. There are certain women that I could get to go, but, and sorry if any of you are reading this, I don't want it to be a romantic trip...i.e. I don't want to have that kind of expectation/pressure on my vacation. I want to go and just enjoy the hell out of it.

Anyway, I figured I would throw that out there today. I might go regardless, but it sure be a hoot to go with a friend willing to chill out, eat good food and ride the waves for a week.

We're 100!

O, do not forsake me, my indolent friends
O, do not forsake me though you know I must spend
All my darkest hours talking like this
For I am one hundred posts* old

One hundred posts old
Sure, you think that's old
One hundred posts old
But what do you know?
In my darkest hour I'm talking like this
For I am one hundred posts old

Oh, some have forgotten the flower of speech
And walks through the garden where I go to defend
Misbegotten notions while talking like this
For I am one hundred posts old

One hundred posts old
Sure, I'd say that's old
One hundred posts old
But what do I know?
In your darkest hour, my indolent friends
We'll be one hundred posts old

*lyrics are from They Might Be Giants song Do Not Forsake Me with one hundred posts being substituted for one thousand years. Now go buy a TMBG CD!!!!

So yes, All's Well That's Roswell turns 100 post old today, so raise your glass and reflect on the great times we've had through 100. Ah the memories...

The coffee talk
The music reviews and discussion
Gettysburgh and Billy the Kid
Tivo and Me
Batman driving in JFK''s car
The cigarettes
The comics and comic movie reviews
The tick quiz (part one)
The Vinagarones, scorpions in bathtubs, tarantula's, etc...
The Zombies
The cries for help
The Some Don't
Chile Cheese Festivals
The Aliens, oh the aliens!
The dragonflies
The Yankees and Cowboys hate mongering
The Staple Gun
The Klingons get married
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Exploding toilets of Las Cruces
The non-existant evil in the world and why you don't have to sell your soul to the devil
The space catapult
and especially the great comments from those of you who take the time out of your busy schedule to take a peek at whatever ridicolousness I might throw out there. Thanks. Here comes the next 100!

If it's broke, fix it!

Allrighty, back in Roswell again. This time after being stuck in Dallas for a day and a half extra because my Sunday evening flight was cancelled. Reason: The plane was broken. That was the only technical reasoning we were afforded as we were asked to leave the plane. Of course it was the last flight that evening and I couldn't get a flight early enough on Monday to get to Lubbock and drive home in time for work, so, I just got home.

Airports, don't you just love 'em?!!? And the best part is, they wouldn't give me back my luggage unless I cancelled the flight and bought a new ticket. I still don't get that. All I know is that for the second time in two trips I ended up having to buy some clothing.

Anyway...I wanted to send out a big thank you to all of you who listened to Nick, Anthony and I on Saturday night. I have received some responses that you can read from the last post and also some interesting e-mails not listed here. Hopefully you enjoyed the music.

That's it for now. I have enough paper work stacked here to keep me busy till my next trip.

Live and in studio

Saturday, April 8th between 10-12pm (central time), that's 11-1:00 east coast, Nick, Anthony and I will be playing 2 live 30 minute sets on UT radio. It is a thrill for me, as always, to get a chance to play with Nick and Anthony, but this is even better because it will be broadcasted live over the internet as well. That means all of my friends, family and relations can listen to one of our shows at the same time no matter what town you are in! Just go to the link and click on the bandwidth you wish to listen at and enjoy! Just as a disclaimer, the radio show is called "Cocked in the barrel" and it is a rap show. As most of you know, rap is not what we do, so you'll have to go through some stuff you might not like in order to get to us, but it'll be worth it.

Aye, only in Scotland

Ok, it's an unusual topic for a post, but for the last day or so I have been thinking about Scotland. No, I'm not thinking of heading out there anytime soon (though it is on the list), but I ran across an interesting article the other day that keeps popping in my head.

It seems that scientists in Scotland have received a boatload of dinero to fund research on a revolutionary form of space transportation. I know, we all have been waiting on some giant breakthrough in teleportation technology or worm-hole discovery, but alas, no, this aint like that. No, the scientists in Scotland are not looking into the future of technology, but rather a blast from the past (so to speak). They are working on a catapult. That's right, a catapult big and strong enough to send supplies to the moon! I'm shocked the boys at MIT and NASA haven't come up with this one yet, but if I was gonna guess where in the world someone would try to build the Apollo Sligshot (my name not theirs), it would be Scotland.

Now don't get me wrong, I have never been comfortable with the modes of transportation we have for ourselves. I'm not to keen on the fact that we pretty much drive around in, or worse, are flown around in what are pretty much large passenger carrying bombs, but putting me in a giant rubberband and sending me off to work, vacation or godforbid the moon!?!? Don't hold your breath (unless going to the moon...then hold your breath when leaving orbit).

After some serious thought on the space catapult idea, I started wondering about other, more practical, applications for this machine:

1. Banishment: While banishing our criminals/enemies is not as big a thing as it was in previous centuries, the catapult would be a great way to deliver this punishment (pun intended). Of course these things would be aired on the telly for all of us to enjoy. Just think of how great it would have been to turn on CNN and see Saddam get placed in the catapult right in front of his toppled statue in Iraq. They could have had a small child holding her favorite us commissioned Teddy Bear cut the cord and we could have seen the masses of Iraqis cheer and dance for joy. That would have been a sight.

2. Food Delivery: No, not Papa John's or Chinese food silly, but food sent to people in needy countries that we would like to help, but just really don't want to visit. How more humanitarian can you get? We could just load the catapult up, do the math for trajectory and let her rip. The food would fly over land and sea and there would be food for everyone. Never again would we hear arguments against helping these people. No real man-hours, no cost transportation or fuel and the best part would be nobody ever having to say thank you.

3. Military: Now you didn't think I would forget what if anything the catapult would really be used for, did ya? Of course not; if anything, I am a realist. I know they are not going to banish people with the catapult! Nobody would want to clean up the mess! And of course I realize we would never really use it to send food across the world. Where's the profit in that. The real use? The one and only use would be as a weapon. Yes...what the catapult was made for! But with this new super-slinger, just imagine what we could do. How about loading up the thing with thumb tacks and sending them off to Paris? That would stop the demonstrations on the streets. Imagine hundreds of thousands of thumbtacks falling from the sky on to unsuspecting Parisians! Or, we could load it up bombs and mines that would explode on contact. Think about it...we spend billions of dollars a year for this kind of stuff and most of the money is spent on deployment. Now we won't need to.

4. Pizza and cheesesteaks. I kid you not. Pack that pizza up and send it my way. Point that thing towards Roswell, Nm, USA and send me something from Angelos or La Fornos will ya!?!?

Of course there are thousands of other unique applications for a machine of this nature, but I think what I have here is more than enough to show a need.

Back in the saddle again

Hey folks. Just thought I'd send an not-to-insightful post to let everyone know I am back from my travels. I went to the CCCC conference in Chicago a couple of weeks ago and then on to Philadelphia for a few busy days of relaxations.

The conference was great fun. Not only did I get a chance to be put off by what many of my collegues around the country are doing in their classes and what great ideas they have for the future, but, I also got a chance to see some old friends and catch up. Chicago is a great city. I would love to be able to spend more then 3 days there.

Philly was fun too, but not enough time to see everybody! Hopefully this summer will afford me the opportunity to see some of my philly area people I miss when I only have a few days. The trip was started with aggrevation though as the airline lost my luggage for a couple of days. I had to get some clothes which in the long run isn't a bad thing. But the rest of the philly time was great.

Back here in Roswell, I had a good night's sleep and am bright eyed and bushy tailed at work. Of course, someone (I won't mention Doc Bender's name here) left a giant rubber spider on my door which scared me (it was dark!), but nothing else too exciting in the 24 hours I have been home.

The Importance of Being Earnest...

Well...my life just got a little busier today. I got some great news. I have been approved for funding and have secured and confirmed all the dates, and it looks like Eastern New Mexico University-Roswell is going to have the first step to a theater program.

My proposal to direct Oscar Wilde's "The importance of Being Earnest" has gone through and I couldn't be happier. That's the good news. The bad news: my life just got turned upside down. Between teaching five classes and directing a play, who knows when I'll have time to sleep or eat. But that goes along with the territory I suppose. I do think theater is a vital part of any community and I am happy to be one of the people who will hopefully make something of it here.

We do have the Roswell Little Theater here in Roswell and I hope to form a healthy, amicable relationship with them. I plan to work with them as much as they are willing to; there is no reason for competition. The more options of things to do in this town the better! And if it all goes as planned, its the beginning of great things to come.

Of course there is always a chance that it will fail miserably and this will be my swan song as a director, but hey, that's the chance you gotta take.

So, make your plans now: November 17-19, 2006. ENMU-R presents: "The Importance of Being Earnest". The first 20 out of towners to respond to this post will receive free tickets to all three performances and a beer. That's right, a beer!

Even Roswell...

every once in a while gets some press. Yesterday I had the pleasure of getting to hang out with Jimmy Santiago Baca for a bit (yes, smoking has its advantages...while everybody is inside, it was me and Jimmy shotting the shit outside). For those of you who might not know who he is, Baca is a poet, novelist and movie maker with more then 14 books to his credit and he made the film "Blood in, Blood out". He's taken in most of the awards there are to get in the field. So needless to say, getting him at our school to give a talk, reading and workshop was a pretty big deal for us.

Let me start my review of his visit by telling you how wonderful of a person Mr. Baca is. It is apparent from the things he does in his life that he cares. He is on the road, working with underprivileged kids, explaining to them why they matter and how poetry matters. He himself has had a tough time of it, spending a long time in prison (where he began to read and write). He has turned down prestigious positions to keep up his work (though he has taken some of them for a while to pay the bills). He has a few travelling companions who were once on the outside of societies graces as well, and who now are poets. That's right, thugs-r-us and we are poets too. How you like me now! Mr. Baca's peeps were as enthusiatic as he was and great to talk to. One of them, Jason Yorcic, has recently got his first book published. I read it. It's not bad for a first book.

Anyway...enough of the ass-kissing. Here's my thought-provoking question of the day. Mr. Baca stresses experiencial writing; writing form experience. He says that's the only way to do it. My question is simple: Do poets like Baca and now Yorcic get the press and publications and awards because of their stories or their work? Does the fact that Baca has gone through so much make him a better poet? Or does it make him a sympathetic poet with a story worth hearing? I'm not sure what I think. I've read three of his books and I think they are okay. But, they speak to lots of people who love them and these are people who would usually scoff at any poetry. I actually have a lot more to say on the subject, but I am more interested in what y'all think.

Any thoughts?

Ouch...that smarts!!!

Monday. Monday. I hope all of your weekends went splendidly. Mine, well, let's just say not so great. Most of the weekend I spent grading papers and entering mid-term grades. Thank goodness that is finished.

But the weekend kicked off with a thud as I was a participant in the Knowledge Bowl. To get an idea of how it went, stick your index finger as far down your throat as you can. You'll know you are there when your plumbing starts going in reverse.

Yes, the Knowledge Bowl was that good. Let me just tell you, I suck. There are lots of excuses I could give (and I will), but the fact of the matter is that I was just no help. Out of a possible 90 questions asked in the three rounds our team was in, our team answered 21 correctly. Out of the 90, I would say only about 70 were answered correctly. 21 was not enough for us to advance to the finals. Of said 21 questions we got right, I correctly answered, hold on, let me count, oh yes, ZERO of them. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Goose Egg. Oh I looked good sure, with my Willie Nelson braids hanging down and my bandana around my head, but unfortunately I also was wearing his thinking cap. Hell, Willie probably would have gotten at least one question.

Now before you start thinking that the game was fixed, or that they only asked math questions, let me just say, it was fixed!!! They only asked Math questions!! No. not really. But, one of the problems is that evidently there is a study guide available on line (who knew) and many of the questions that were asked were directly from the study guide. Some of these people memorized the dang guide!! So they would ask a question "What French" BUZZ.. Answer: Costeau. That is correct. Next question. How can you compete with that. I wouldn't memorize the thing even if I knew it existed and had the time! So, many of the questions I might have known were answered before I knew the question!

Also, the answers bothered me. They would ask a poetry question and I would answer it correctly and they would tell me it wasn't the answer they were looking for. For instance, if they were to ask something like, "name one part of a book" and you said, "the cover", they would say, "I'm sorry, that's not the correct answer. The correct answer was "page". How frustrating is that!?!?!

Anyway, I better stop before my blood pressure goes through the roof. I'll just keep chanting my Lao Tzu mantra: Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...

Much better.