As promised...Waddie and myself

Just thought I would upload the picture of Mr. Mitchell and myself, taken at the Roswell Art Museum Gala. Sorry my tie is crinkled mom!!!

Cowboy Poet Laureate

Hello folks in cyber-land, and thanks for checking in to the blog. Things will begin to pick up here pretty soon with the college's production of "The Importance of Being Earnest" set to go in a few weeks.

In the meantime, The Roswell Museum of Art had a big Gala celebration last Friday to officially open a new exhibit. For those of you in town, or coming to town, it is definitely worthwhile to take an hour out of your schedule and check it out. And...I am not just saying that because I am on the board of trustees either!

During that celebration there was a fancy-schmancy black tie dinner followed on Saturday by a festival. Yes...these small towns do love there festivals. Not only did I get to help set things up for these events, but I also attended them. The festival, that celebrated skills, arts and crafts of the southwest got off to a slow start, but business picked up. Of course there were the usual suspects there: the vendors selling funnel cakes, popcorn, burritos and the usual carney fare. But, the nice thing was that the people at most of the booths were not selling things, the were showing things and teaching things.

Two of the highlights for me were our own Doc Bender manning the Historical Society booth churning butter. That's right, good 'ol Doc was standing there for hours turning a handle and wondering if it would ever become butter. For all the ribbing he took, a couple of hours and viola! Butter. I was a bit afraid to taste it, but I did and it was good. I washed it down with some apple cider that I watched be made straight from the press!

The second highlight was getting to listen to and to meet Waddie Mitchell, the Cowboy Poet Laureate. He was the main attraction. This guy is great. He's been everywhere and done everything and his poetry is everything you would want: thought provoking, entertaining, funny, engaging. I can't say enough about him. The best part is, he was such a nice guy. I got a chance to meet him at the Gala and we talked for a few minutes about the importance of poetry and theater and the arts in general. He excused himself for a minute in our conversation and I thought he probably was just moving on to other more important people, but, instead, he walked back and handed me a drink and continued where we left off.

I think there is a picture of us out there and I'll post it when I get it. One of my colleagues took it and said to Waddie, "how about a picture of the two poets...East coast meets West coast". It was a thrill and honor to be even mentioned in the same sentence with Mr. Mitchell.

So...that's my excitement for the week...Remember: "The Importance of Being Earnest" at ENMU-R, November 17-19 at the Performing Arts Center! It's free, so unless you are more then 1000 miles away...you have no excuse!

Super Genius??

(For some reason I can't get a photo to upload today, so imagine Steve Lyons smiling face here.)

Not so fast sports fans! I'm not so quick to throw Steve Lyons to the wolves just yet. Instead, I am awarding my Super Genius award this month to Fox Sports for their immediate dismissal of Mr. Lyons.

For those of you who do not know, Mr. Lyons, nicknamed "pyscho" during his playing days and best known up until now for forgetting where he was and pulling his pants down at first base trying to get dirt out of his pant legs, has been fired from Fox Sports for making racially insensitive comments.

Here is a chunck from Sports Illustrated's website (linked above):

In the second inning of Friday's game between Detroit and Oakland, Piniella talked about the success light-hitting A's infielder Marco Scutaro had in the first round of the playoffs. Piniella said that slugger Frank Thomas and Eric Chavez needed to contribute, comparing Scutaro's production to finding a "wallet on Friday" and hoping it happened again the next week.
Later, Piniella said the A's needed Thomas to get "en fuego" -- hot in Spanish -- because he was currently "frio" -- or cold. After Brennaman praised Piniella for being bilingual, Lyons spoke up.Lyons said that Piniella was "hablaing Espanol" -- butchering the conjugation for the word "to speak" -- and added, "I still can't find my wallet."
"I don't understand him, and I don't want to sit too close to him now," Lyons continued.

Insensitive? Perhaps. Cause for losing your job? I'm not so sure. Did Lyons mean it the way it is being portrayed? Does it matter? I leave it up to you my much smarter than I readers!!!

Fore!!!

Last weekend I served as a volunteer at the ENMU-R Charity Golf Tournament. As many of you know, I am not a golfer. So, I was not playing, but rather helping to facilitate the event. It was quite a long day, but it was fun.

One thing I did was stand out at hole 13 and measure drives for the closest to the hole. For that particular hole, the closest drive won a nights stay at The Inn of the Mountain Gods in Ruiodoso. Luckily I had good company at the hole with me or it could have been a bit boring.

There was also a drink cart roaming around the course and I tried my first Bloddy Mary. I should have known better. I don't like Tomato Juice and I am not big on Vodka, but I figured it was a good time to try one. Well...one swig and I knew i was a mistake. Ugghhh! Repulsive. I don't know how you people do it! For the rest of the day it was beer for me.

Now that's a big spider!

I finally got to see it. The New Mexico giant Tarantula. It was sitting right outside my door a few days ago. I have to say the chills, they went right up from my big toe to the top of my head. It was at least the size of my hand. I wanted to take a picture, but I only had my phone with me and I wasn't about to get close enough to get a good shot.

I have to admit I feel a bit silly being affraid of a bug that the local kids play with or squash, but I just can't help it. The thing was huge! My neighbor came outside and told me I could get close to it to take the picture and that it wouldn't try to attack, but as I started to move in ever so slowly he said to be careful not to upset it or it might jump at me. Not upset it!?!? How the heck am I supposed to know what might upset a tarantula???

Anyway, it has been a few days and every once in a while I see the thing crawling around the outside of the buildings. My rule is that I will kill anything that is in my home. Outside, well, that's their domain. But as I look upon the giant arachnid, I have to wonder: could I kill something that big? What the hell would I do if one was crawling inside my home? Ugghh.

Komikazee time!

So here's my shameless plug thought of the day:

I think you all should go to Komikazee.com and read my column. I now have two articles posted there. One called, The Unreal Reality, the other called Superman Blues in the Key of C.

Register for site and send some feedback!

Now back to your regularly scheduled day.

Pure Water, Fast Ducks

While driving back from San Diego this summer, we saw a sign that made no sense in Deming, New Mexico. It said: Welcome to Deming, home of pure water and fast ducks. I can see why a place in the desert would want to claim pure water. But what's the deal with the ducks?

Well, as fate would have it, someone in my department has lived in Deming and related the story.

Deming, New Mexico is the home of the Great American Duck Race; an event that just celebrated its 27th year. Each year, multiples of people go down to Deming with their wannabe speedy ducks and let them tear it loose on the track.

Now I know what you are thinking; who cares about a bunch of fast ducks? Well, that's what I was thinking anyway, but just like most small towns americana, this is a party. Sure there are the duck races and I am sure a multitude of duck related things for the duck enthusiast, but when you boil off the fat, it is a festival like any other. From what I hear, it is actually a lot of fun. I just wonder what they do with the losing ducks when it is done (le'orange?)? Maybe next year, I'll mark it on the calendar and head down their. If anyone wants to join me, I'll flip the bill (sorry...bad duck pun intended).

I think it is utterly amazing that I live in a state that you can go see the ducks run and then make your way a couple of hours and see the rocket races. You got to love this state!

Before I let you waddle on the subject, I have to throw out my favorite duck joke!
A Priest, Rabbi and a duck go into a bar. The bartender says: What is this...a joke!?!?!
I'll be here all week.

The final hunt

I'm not usually one to give these death announcements/memorializing speeches, but today I felt compelled to write about the passing of Steve Irwin, aka, the crocodile hunter. I wasn't a big fan of his shows, though I did watch them ever so often. Also, I don't like to mourn celebrities more then any of the countless unknowns that die everyday that I have never heard of, but I just had to.

I guess I am wondering if it was all worth it for him. All of those years playing with fire, putting himself into dangerous scrapes. Was something like this bound to happen? I heard on CNN that this is only the second Stingray related death on record in Australia and that the Stingray doesn't even make the top ten most dangerous creature list there. It just seems so pointless.

I wonder if a guy like that would have had it any other way. I'm sure that he would have loved to have seen his kids grow up and to grow old himself, but I wonder if he had an idea that this could happen. I don't think in any way he got what he deserved or anything like that that I have been reading today on various sites. Is he the Bruce Lee or Jim Morrison of his genre?

To the mall!

After a year of avoidance, I finally made my first trip to the Roswell Mall. I didn't go for shopping though, so I still have that going for me. I went to lend a hand to the Media Arts department of our school to help with recruitment.

The mall isn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. It actually looks like a mall inside and has your typical mall stuff offered. The two things that got me were:

1. Giant roaches. I'm not talking your little brown, we have a problem type roach here. No. I'm talking your indigenous two inch long, dinosaur looking things. They were everywhere outside the exit of the mall. Luckily most were dead, or dying, but yuck!! I think Roswell is as close to Galapagos as I'll ever get!

2. The sign on the door. The Roswell Mall has their do's and don'ts posted on a sign like many malls do. No smoking. No skateboards...that kind of thing. But...they had two things posted I have never seen (and being from Philly, you'd think I would have). They have a no bandana and no gang related attire policy. Yes, they will boot you from the mall if you are wearing your bandana. No eighties heavy metal stars here: sorry Axel!! And...how do you get those gang related tattoos off before you go in there?!?!?

Back to work

I guess it was bound to happen. Work. Today was the first of two days of meetings to get us back in the groove for another semester. This semester should be cool, but majorly busy.

I will be teaching 4 sections of Rhetoric, 1 section of Intro to theater arts, 1 section of Rehearsal and performance and 1 section of Comic Book Design. Then there is the play.

Besides that, I got back to Roswell safely and reclaimed my spot on the couch in front of the idiot box. I won't have much TV time for a while, but I did get a chance to catch up on most of the stuff I Tivo'd this summer.

No giant spiders. No scorpions. So far, off to a good start!

Wild blue yonder

Today I have airplanes on my mind. Maybe it is because I have to drive to Philly International to drop off Ali this afternoon, or because I have to fly out on Monday. Either way, I have been thinking about the pain in the rear which is air-travel.

Philly International is probably the biggest pain in the butt airport I have ever been to. It takes forever to get through there and there are always tons of people there. I know JFK is a big pain too, but my limites experience their has been positive.

Dallas, on the other hand, is a joy in comparisson. The only problem there is that when you land you might have a ten minute ride to your terminal. The first time you land there it is confusing. Your plane actually drives over the highway. It is even stranger when you drive to the airport and see a plane drive over you. But it is such a big airport and arranged so well that it is a breeze to get things done. One of the best things in Dallas.

I really like small airports though like Lubbuck or Santa Barbara. No muss no fuss. You enter in the one door, go to the one counter and sit at one of the few gates to wait for your plane. I love when I get to do a trip like that. It really lowers that travel stress.

Internationally, it seems like all airports are a pain for Americans. The Amsterdam airport was nice though. It had smoking and nice areas to get coffee or a snack. It was mobbed though. We got a verbal lashing at the gate too. We stopped for coffee because we were so early. When we showed up at the gate, about one hour and a half before the flight took off, a snooty airport employee gave us a lecture about being on time. They wanted us there to check in (even though we had already done that once) with them at the gate two hours before takeoff. I could've killed that jerk.

Anyway, I was just having a conversation and mentioned that if I were going on vacation and had a few choices of destination, I would totally pick the one with the least stressful airport. Is that dumb?

Anybody have a favorite airport or great airport story? I know most of you have heard all of mine before, so I won't bore you with them again.

The Philadelphia Five

As I get ready to head back to New Mexico, I thought I'd give you my list of things I miss most obout the greatest city in the USA: Philadelphia. Of course you can put family and friends aside for this, of course they come first. But the following is a list of things that are very difficult for me to do without in Roswell.

1. Rita's Water Ice. If you have been to Philly and had Rita's, you know what I am talking about. If you haven't, man, it is hard to explain. On the surface it would appear that Rita's is just a tasty, cool and refreshing icee snack. But, once you have tasted a Rita's, you realize there really is nothing like it in the world. Nuff said.

2. Snow. How do people live in climates that really do not get any snow? I love the snow. I love the way it looks, they way it falls, the way it feels to jump in and even shoveling the stuff! Every Winter I watch the news or weather channel and watch other people's snow. Is that wrong?

3. Attitude. I like the people I live near, but there is just nothing like the brunt honesty of people from Philly. No B.S.. I love when people look at me funny at restaurants when I ask for something ridicolous. Or when people tell me that something I am going to buy is ugly or dumb. You can't beat that kind of caring!

4. Angelos Pizza. Oh man, you gotta be kidding me. How do I go months and months without Angelos? The best pizza. Great Strombolis and Calzones. Perfect Cheese Steaks. I could eat there every night and not get the same thing for a month and be thrilled. I have been getting food there for about 27 years, and I guess you can say in part that they have made me into the man I am today.

5. Sports. It's not really the biggest deal in the world. I have friends to watch football with in Roswell and have great fun, but there is just something about being at home with Philly fans watching a game. Yelling at the TV. Arguing about who sucks the worst or who should be traded of fired. A whole flock of people to root against anything that even remotley reminds of New York or Dallas, or pretty much anything not Philly.

And of course there's a ton more, but that's enough for now. Let me know your top five from your hometown!

Where in the world!?!?

Hello my brothers and sisters. I apologize for the long absence, but it has made my heart grow fonder. Before I get into the usual routine, I thought I would give you my excuse for being gone such a long time (and no, it is not wanting to have you see Big Ben R. as my super genius for a month).

Fact of the matter is I have not been home since May 17th. This summer has been filled with travel, both pleasant and laborious. I will let you decide which is which and what is what. Being on the road for so long, it has been difficult to get online to update. But...I'm back.

Here's my summer to date:

Fly from Albuquerque to Seattle. Jump on ship and cruise Alaska. Fly Seattle to Dallas. Stay in Dallas 10 days. Fly from Dallas to Las Vegas. Pick up parents in rental car. Drive to Hoover Dam, Vegas, Sequoia national Park, Yosemite, San Francisco, Ventura and finally Santa Barbara for my brother's graduation (yay Ben!). Fly from Santa Barbara to Philadelphia. Stay in Philly for a couple of weeks. Fly from Philly to Dallas. Next Day, drive from Dallas to San Diego for conference. Drive from San Diego back to Dallas. Take train from Dallas to Los Angeles (56 hours). Drive from West Lake Village, Ca to Philadelphia.

So far, with layovers, I am at 14 flights this summer with two more to go to get back to lovely Roswell. I estimate my total miles in travel this summer to be over 20,000! And...all in the USA (except for a bit on the Pacific through Canada). Also, I have changed my watch 23 times to account for time zone changes (with two to go). Next summer, I want to visit some places in Dreamland. Just give me coffee, friends, some sports, good books and a bed!

I hope all of your summers are going well and I hope to hear from you!

D.W.

This month's Super Genius Award

How can it not go to Big Ben Roethlisberger? Sorry Pittsburgh fans, but he is the winner. Not only is this moron riding around without covering his melon on his motorcycle with an expired permit, but, and this is the part that gets me, he did like a million interviews about how smart he is and how he wouldn't get into an accident. I'm sorry, but when you make Bill Cower look smart...ugghh

A close runner up for the award was the drunken captain on my cruise. The only reason he doesn't get the SGA is because the very next cruise that went out on the same ship had almost every passanger come back sick! Super Genius!?!? Maybe more then we know!

Viva Las Vegas

Well...made it to Vegas in one peice after a few days of hellish travel. I think I might be getting old. I like Vegas, but I'd rather be doing, well...nothing (or sitting on a cruise ship doing nothing anyway). I'm just not a big gambler/drinker/partier as I used to be. Maybe I should be married...then I'd have an excuse!

While staying in Dallas I started writing some new tunes. One of these songs has my new motto: when I think of all the things I could've done today, it makes me want to do nothing tomorrow. Is that lazyness-maximus or what!?!?

A must read

Most of the comics I read are not very good; rather, I should say, most comics I read I wouldn't recommend. People laugh at me when I tell them I put my books in the order that I want to read them: crappy to good. If I read good ones first, then I know I won't read the crap. Why do I buy the crap? Why do people scratch there asses in public, pick their noses, read Steven King, or eat pixie sticks? They just do. They are compelled.

Anyway, I wanted to take a second to tell you about a great comic book. The latest edition of "Fell" just hit the market last week, and I have to say it is one of the best single issues of any comic I have read in the last year or so. It is engaging, well written and well drawn. The fact that "Fell" is up for like 5 Eisner Awards means that I am not the only one reading it or praising it. I'm not trying to claim discovery or anything. I just thought I'd share.

Also, speaking of must reads and sharing, our own "Doc" Bender has started a blog of his own based on interesting Civil War stories and people. It's a great site to add to your reading lists and certainly of more value than this one! Check it out and leave him some commentary so the old chap knows people are out there!!! Jo Shelby's Mule.

It's time to get things started...

Okay, so this is two in a row. But, based on the fact that the last post got so much feedback, I felt compeled to give you another silly quiz. This one is "which muppet are you?". Take it and let me know who you are. This time I was Kermit the Frog (Yay! Yay!) and I couldn't be happier. I was Spider-man in the last one and if I had to say which muppet was Spidey, Kermit would have been my guess.

Muppet quiz

That's about it for now from hotter then hell Dallas, Texas!

Which super hero am I?

I took this little test and was pleased with the results:


Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 65% Iron Man 55% Superman 55% Wonder Woman 48% Green Lantern 45% The Flash 45% Robin 43% Supergirl 43% Catwoman 35% Batman 35% Hulk 25%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Alaska: Day 1, Part 2

After the Captain of the ship was tossed, the cruise finally begun. Being my first cruise, I was unaware of the procedures that are expected to be followed. One such requirement was an emergency drill. So, we are in the room waiting for the signal and then it happens. We run to the mustardation site assigned to us with our life jackets on. Life jackets, by the way, that were not made for someone of my magnitude. I wasn't even sure I would float with one of those things on me.

Nothing really exciting happened during the drill of interest, but I had an eerie feeling during it. For some reason, in my mind, I thought of the nazis lining up the Jews in Germany and just pushing them in massive graves. Not the best image to have when starting a trip, but I just couldn't help thinking how massive a grave the ocean is. That and I thought of the Pink Flyod movie "The Wall". You know the part where the kids are being dropped in the meat grinder? That one.

Then of course I thought of pirates. I thought of the pirate who goes into a bar with the steering wheel of his ship stuck in his pants. The bartender asks him if it hurts and the pirate responds, "Arrgghhh...its driving me nuts!!"

I thought alot about pirates. Not of pirates coming onto the cruise ship. I know the Alaskan cruises don't attract the pirates like the Islands might. No, I thought about me becoming a pirate and living out on the ocean, robbing cruise ships of their bountiful vitals and treasures. Man, I wish I was a pirate.

Alaska: day 1, Part 1.

Captain's Log: 14:00, 19/5/06.

The Firshed daze of da cruuushe. I love being the capshion of dish ship. Eyes can't wait to getch to the open shees. Better drinks more of thish shmirnoff bottled water though sho I shober upss quishly. I donsh wans ta shteer thish baby inta land whensh we shhhoove off.

Captain's Log: 16:00, 19/5/06.

Yo Ho and A BoTtLe oF rUM. Thatsh what I'm shingin. Give me a bott el and shwab up the deck, shlo-bo and a mottle of bum.

Whatsh thar shound I'm hearin now? Shomone ish snocking on missa door. Goes away. Imsha catman of thish veshel and your shnot. Hey, gets outta here. Who arshe yous guys. Why are you pussshhing me off the ssshhiip? I'm the catman! I'm the Capshion! I'm the cushion! Shhiitt.

A hard rain

For the last 9 months I have lived in the desert. Last night and this morning (continuing as I type this post), the skies have opened up and let loose for the first time. It has rained a few times for a few minutes since I have been here, and I have heard that it has rained a few times that I was out of town (it even snowed I heard), but this is the first I have seen.

I love the rain, especially when the day before it rains it is 95 degrees and the day after it is 65. Of course one draw back is power failures. Yesterday I lost power a total of 3 times. There is nothing more boring than not having electricity. I read by candlelight, but that became uncomfortable. I drained out the battery of my laptop watching a part of a movie. I listened to music on the i-pod. But even though it seems I had much to do, one thing was a constant reminder to me; every minute the power was off was another push in the temperature of my place. My usual fridge-like home slowly was turning into a sauna...and there was nothing I could do.

Realistically, it never got too bad, but in my mind it was horrible and I started getting warmer and warmer, silently pleading for the gods of electrical wires to do their thing. Alas, a few hours later all was well. The rain continued to reek havoc, but the comforting sound of air rushing through vents returned and I was free from the torment of waking hours.

I might have to change the name of the blog to something else due to the fact that starting Wednesday of next week, I don't think I will actually be in Roswell for a long time. I don't like posting this information publicly, but since I will have a house sitter at my place, I feel a bit safer sending this out.

It's the end of the semester. As I write this post, I have no more classes to teach until my online courses start in June. All that is left for me to do is attend graduation tonight and grade like a muthaf'er this weekend. The semester flew by, and I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment here to publicly thank all of the wonderful people in my department for making this a great first year of employment. Without them, I'd have gone batty by now. So, Bob, Bob, Jenni, Alan, Rick, Lloyd, Grace, Bill, Maureen, Annemarie, Kate, Sherry and Helen, thanks a million!

That being said, Wednesday I start my summer of teaching, researching the play and visiting. Alaska is first on the list. That's next week. Then, my friends in Dallas, I'm coming to you for two weeks. After that Mein Bruder, I will be heading out to So-Cal for your graduation and to visit. After a quick stop, I will be on my way to Philly for a large chunck of time starting June 23rd.

So...check in still cause I'll be updating as often as possible from wherever I am. See you soon!

Free Comic Book Day

Sorry it's been a few days since I have posted. It's the end of the semester and things are crazy busy here. Besides that, I was in Dallas for a few days (I guess that's how things end up crazy, huh?). Well...it'll all be over soon. I have three more classes to teach then a bunch of grading and then vacation time.

But enough about scheduling. I wanted to take a minute to thank Chris and Chris over at Madness Comics for having me in this past weekend. They put on the absolute best free comic book day event you could hope for. Their store looked more like a convention site on Saturday then a comic shop. From 10:00am and continuing throughout the day, people piled in to the shop.

Their were free comics, yes, but every store had free comics that day. The Chris's just know what they are doing, and that makes all the difference. One cool thing they did was to invite Stormtroopers and Darth Vader to stalk the vicinity of the store. They pulled people in off the street, took pictures with the kids and were just all around a major asset.

Inside the store, if you could see past the multitudes of customers, there was a panel of guests at tables talking to anyone interested. They had a couple local comic creators there who were young and talented and ready to take on the world (more on them in another post). They had Rick Hoberg and Steve Bennett, both whom I would have to say I learned alot from during the day. And somehow or another, there was me, sitting at the table as a guest, talking about comics and scholarship, or classical allusions in comics or whatever someone wanted to talk about.

Rick and Steve kick ass! They are both so unbelievably talented, but more then that they were such a wealth of information. And they were great with the fans. They talked to everyone who wanted to talk and for as long as the person stood there. They didn't rush anyone or shrug anyone off.

Overall, a great day for comic fans in Plano. Ciao.

Alaska revisited

So...I finalized the details for the trip to Alaska yesterday. I gotta tell you: I am an idiot. After spending most of the day on the phone with cruise "experts" only to find out that they only go online and do the same thing we can do, I decided to just book it myself.

You would think that when you type in the parameters for a computer search, the findings would be within those parameters. Nope. I accidently booked a cruise that left from Seward Alaska instead of Seattle. I didn't notice right away, but when I did, I panicked. For one thing, where the hell is Seward Alaska!?!? Sencondly, they don't give refunds on cruises this close to the cruise date. I thought I was screwsville (30 miles south, evidently, of Seward).

Luckily, the fine people of Ceebrity Cruises and Orbitz.com were nice enough to work with me so that I could break the rules and reschedule a cruise for the same week that leaves from Seattle. Thank goodness. And for that my friends...I give myself the first of a new segment here at All's Well that's Roswell:

The SUPER GENIUS Award!

From here on out, each month I will give this award to those befitting the title.

The 5th Wall

Saturday night I had the pleasure of EmCeeing ENMU-R's fund raiser for an art scholarship called "Unleashed." There were two really cool things about the evening. One is that the Comedy Improv troupe I have been working with for the last 3 months finally got a chance to be on stage.

There were moments since we began of triumph and failure. The imoprovers always work hard, but comedy, especially impromptu, is not an easy thing to pick up. I don't think if you are not funny then you never will be, but to train yourself to be funny? Most comedians will tell you they were little goofballs their whole life.

But The 5th Wall, Johnnie, Arnie, Chris, Monica, Bekha, Gigi and Loyce stole the show. They were funny and the audience loved them. So kudos to them for pulling off a tough task.

They had the stage for a half hour in which they did three skits. The first was a version of the dating game where one of the troupe left the building and the audience picked who the contestants would be: rock stars, morticians, sky divers, whatever they wanted. Then they brought the improver back in and his job was to figure out, by questioning, who each was.

The second was "the paper game." Before the night started, one of the troupe got audience members to write words and phrases on paper and fold them up. They were collected right before the improvers hit the stage. The audience then choose a profession and scenario and the improvers, each time a bell was rung, had to incorporate whatever was on the paper into their story. My favorites were: Tickle me elmo, poppycock, is that Frank Sinatra and googly-goo (you had to be there to know why). Anyway...that was hilarious.

The last skit was the toughest to pull of, but it worked well also. It was called "snapshot" and the troupe picked a couple from the audience and brought them on stage. They asked where their last vacation was and then the whole troupe and the two audience members struck poses while the lights went out. When the lights came back on, two of the troupe had to explain the vacation photos. There were about 6 snapshots explained and people loved it.

So all in all a success for The 5th Wall. Congrats to them. The rest of the night was so-so. There was a guy who played electric music which wasn't bad, but got tedious quick. Then there was a karate exposition that was more like a feel good lecture. That got old real quick. And last was a band called Fetish from Artesia whose fetish was obviously for bad, underpracticed and undertalented music.

I got to EmCee from the astral plane. I had a wireless mic and sat in the light booth of the theater and called the show. At first people had no idea what was going on when my voice boomed through the theater. It was funny.

Two more weeks then the semester is over. I'll be coming to a town near you.

National "TV Turnoff Week"

In an attempt to promote this glorious week where we are supposed to take a journey of self discovery and try something new, TV Turnoff Week, I thought I would make a quick note.

If you live in New Mexico and happen to think you see me invading your TV set during a UPS Store commercial, don't fret or get concerned. It is no doppleganger. Fortunately or otherwise, that is me playing the boss in the advertisement. I haven't seen it yet and more then likely will never see it as it plays (I will have a copy on DVD) because it will be playing only on Comcast and Cableone cable in New Mexico. If you live in New Mexico and have one of these cable providers, then you might catch it if you watch your basic cable channels (like CNN or ESPN).

Anyway...I thought I'd let you know so you are not surprised. That way you can laugh with me, not at me.

And the Oscar for best tobbaconist goes to...

Wait a second. Did he just say tobacconist!?!? What the hell does he mean. Well my smoking jacket wearing friends, let me tell you. This weekend I was lucky enough to get to work on a wonderful short film here in Roswell, New Mexico, USA. I was brought on as an acting coach and worked with the director and actors to help the acting stay as close to the directors intention as possible.

But a funny thing happened on the movie set. One of the characters in the movie was required to smoke a ciggarette and then flick it at the camera. Problem was...he never even held a cancer stick before, let alone tossed one. So, as the guy outside smoking, I was naturally asked to become the smoking coach. During the shoot, we went through more then a pack of ciggarettes trying to film a scene that will probably end up about 2 minutes max on the screen.

I don't know how many films hire a tobacconist, and I am sure I am not the first, but, I have to say, it is the pinnacle of my movie career to date. Give me my Oscar, you Hollywood curs!!!

A good thing?

Recently, I was talked into getting a myspace account. For those of you who may not know what myspace is, it is a place on the web for people to show that they have friends, make business connections, find dates, or just plain screw around. Well...I pretty much don't bother with stuff like that, but because it seemed so many people I knew were up and running there, I figured what the hay.

As a big surprise to me, I quickly realized a wonderful thing about it; you can be reconnected with people you haven't heard from in forever (this might not always be a good thing). I had a chance to talk to an old friend of mine who I haven't been able to contact in years. So now I am a believer. The rest of it still seems kind of goofy to me, with the only other benefit so far being reading the rants and oddities from a certain friend of this blog who shall remain nameless.

Have a good weekend

Alaska

As this semester winds down, I have started giving some thought to what I should do with some of my vacation time this year. The one thing that keeps popping in my mind is Alaska: more specifically, an Alaskan cruise. I have been out there before, but never on a ship.

I have been doing some research on it for the last couple of weeks and have found incredably cheap cruises in the latter part of May. The only problem is that the prices are based on double occupancy. The cost for one person to go is about the same as two.

So my first question is, any of y'all wanna go to Alaska with me in May? A 7 night all inclusive (except airfare) is as cheap as 700 bucks! Don't get me wrong, I can find someone to go with, but I want to have fun. Let me explain. There are certain women that I could get to go, but, and sorry if any of you are reading this, I don't want it to be a romantic trip...i.e. I don't want to have that kind of expectation/pressure on my vacation. I want to go and just enjoy the hell out of it.

Anyway, I figured I would throw that out there today. I might go regardless, but it sure be a hoot to go with a friend willing to chill out, eat good food and ride the waves for a week.

We're 100!

O, do not forsake me, my indolent friends
O, do not forsake me though you know I must spend
All my darkest hours talking like this
For I am one hundred posts* old

One hundred posts old
Sure, you think that's old
One hundred posts old
But what do you know?
In my darkest hour I'm talking like this
For I am one hundred posts old

Oh, some have forgotten the flower of speech
And walks through the garden where I go to defend
Misbegotten notions while talking like this
For I am one hundred posts old

One hundred posts old
Sure, I'd say that's old
One hundred posts old
But what do I know?
In your darkest hour, my indolent friends
We'll be one hundred posts old

*lyrics are from They Might Be Giants song Do Not Forsake Me with one hundred posts being substituted for one thousand years. Now go buy a TMBG CD!!!!

So yes, All's Well That's Roswell turns 100 post old today, so raise your glass and reflect on the great times we've had through 100. Ah the memories...

The coffee talk
The music reviews and discussion
Gettysburgh and Billy the Kid
Tivo and Me
Batman driving in JFK''s car
The cigarettes
The comics and comic movie reviews
The tick quiz (part one)
The Vinagarones, scorpions in bathtubs, tarantula's, etc...
The Zombies
The cries for help
The Some Don't
Chile Cheese Festivals
The Aliens, oh the aliens!
The dragonflies
The Yankees and Cowboys hate mongering
The Staple Gun
The Klingons get married
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Exploding toilets of Las Cruces
The non-existant evil in the world and why you don't have to sell your soul to the devil
The space catapult
and especially the great comments from those of you who take the time out of your busy schedule to take a peek at whatever ridicolousness I might throw out there. Thanks. Here comes the next 100!

If it's broke, fix it!

Allrighty, back in Roswell again. This time after being stuck in Dallas for a day and a half extra because my Sunday evening flight was cancelled. Reason: The plane was broken. That was the only technical reasoning we were afforded as we were asked to leave the plane. Of course it was the last flight that evening and I couldn't get a flight early enough on Monday to get to Lubbock and drive home in time for work, so, I just got home.

Airports, don't you just love 'em?!!? And the best part is, they wouldn't give me back my luggage unless I cancelled the flight and bought a new ticket. I still don't get that. All I know is that for the second time in two trips I ended up having to buy some clothing.

Anyway...I wanted to send out a big thank you to all of you who listened to Nick, Anthony and I on Saturday night. I have received some responses that you can read from the last post and also some interesting e-mails not listed here. Hopefully you enjoyed the music.

That's it for now. I have enough paper work stacked here to keep me busy till my next trip.

Live and in studio

Saturday, April 8th between 10-12pm (central time), that's 11-1:00 east coast, Nick, Anthony and I will be playing 2 live 30 minute sets on UT radio. It is a thrill for me, as always, to get a chance to play with Nick and Anthony, but this is even better because it will be broadcasted live over the internet as well. That means all of my friends, family and relations can listen to one of our shows at the same time no matter what town you are in! Just go to the link and click on the bandwidth you wish to listen at and enjoy! Just as a disclaimer, the radio show is called "Cocked in the barrel" and it is a rap show. As most of you know, rap is not what we do, so you'll have to go through some stuff you might not like in order to get to us, but it'll be worth it.

Aye, only in Scotland

Ok, it's an unusual topic for a post, but for the last day or so I have been thinking about Scotland. No, I'm not thinking of heading out there anytime soon (though it is on the list), but I ran across an interesting article the other day that keeps popping in my head.

It seems that scientists in Scotland have received a boatload of dinero to fund research on a revolutionary form of space transportation. I know, we all have been waiting on some giant breakthrough in teleportation technology or worm-hole discovery, but alas, no, this aint like that. No, the scientists in Scotland are not looking into the future of technology, but rather a blast from the past (so to speak). They are working on a catapult. That's right, a catapult big and strong enough to send supplies to the moon! I'm shocked the boys at MIT and NASA haven't come up with this one yet, but if I was gonna guess where in the world someone would try to build the Apollo Sligshot (my name not theirs), it would be Scotland.

Now don't get me wrong, I have never been comfortable with the modes of transportation we have for ourselves. I'm not to keen on the fact that we pretty much drive around in, or worse, are flown around in what are pretty much large passenger carrying bombs, but putting me in a giant rubberband and sending me off to work, vacation or godforbid the moon!?!? Don't hold your breath (unless going to the moon...then hold your breath when leaving orbit).

After some serious thought on the space catapult idea, I started wondering about other, more practical, applications for this machine:

1. Banishment: While banishing our criminals/enemies is not as big a thing as it was in previous centuries, the catapult would be a great way to deliver this punishment (pun intended). Of course these things would be aired on the telly for all of us to enjoy. Just think of how great it would have been to turn on CNN and see Saddam get placed in the catapult right in front of his toppled statue in Iraq. They could have had a small child holding her favorite us commissioned Teddy Bear cut the cord and we could have seen the masses of Iraqis cheer and dance for joy. That would have been a sight.

2. Food Delivery: No, not Papa John's or Chinese food silly, but food sent to people in needy countries that we would like to help, but just really don't want to visit. How more humanitarian can you get? We could just load the catapult up, do the math for trajectory and let her rip. The food would fly over land and sea and there would be food for everyone. Never again would we hear arguments against helping these people. No real man-hours, no cost transportation or fuel and the best part would be nobody ever having to say thank you.

3. Military: Now you didn't think I would forget what if anything the catapult would really be used for, did ya? Of course not; if anything, I am a realist. I know they are not going to banish people with the catapult! Nobody would want to clean up the mess! And of course I realize we would never really use it to send food across the world. Where's the profit in that. The real use? The one and only use would be as a weapon. Yes...what the catapult was made for! But with this new super-slinger, just imagine what we could do. How about loading up the thing with thumb tacks and sending them off to Paris? That would stop the demonstrations on the streets. Imagine hundreds of thousands of thumbtacks falling from the sky on to unsuspecting Parisians! Or, we could load it up bombs and mines that would explode on contact. Think about it...we spend billions of dollars a year for this kind of stuff and most of the money is spent on deployment. Now we won't need to.

4. Pizza and cheesesteaks. I kid you not. Pack that pizza up and send it my way. Point that thing towards Roswell, Nm, USA and send me something from Angelos or La Fornos will ya!?!?

Of course there are thousands of other unique applications for a machine of this nature, but I think what I have here is more than enough to show a need.

Back in the saddle again

Hey folks. Just thought I'd send an not-to-insightful post to let everyone know I am back from my travels. I went to the CCCC conference in Chicago a couple of weeks ago and then on to Philadelphia for a few busy days of relaxations.

The conference was great fun. Not only did I get a chance to be put off by what many of my collegues around the country are doing in their classes and what great ideas they have for the future, but, I also got a chance to see some old friends and catch up. Chicago is a great city. I would love to be able to spend more then 3 days there.

Philly was fun too, but not enough time to see everybody! Hopefully this summer will afford me the opportunity to see some of my philly area people I miss when I only have a few days. The trip was started with aggrevation though as the airline lost my luggage for a couple of days. I had to get some clothes which in the long run isn't a bad thing. But the rest of the philly time was great.

Back here in Roswell, I had a good night's sleep and am bright eyed and bushy tailed at work. Of course, someone (I won't mention Doc Bender's name here) left a giant rubber spider on my door which scared me (it was dark!), but nothing else too exciting in the 24 hours I have been home.

The Importance of Being Earnest...

Well...my life just got a little busier today. I got some great news. I have been approved for funding and have secured and confirmed all the dates, and it looks like Eastern New Mexico University-Roswell is going to have the first step to a theater program.

My proposal to direct Oscar Wilde's "The importance of Being Earnest" has gone through and I couldn't be happier. That's the good news. The bad news: my life just got turned upside down. Between teaching five classes and directing a play, who knows when I'll have time to sleep or eat. But that goes along with the territory I suppose. I do think theater is a vital part of any community and I am happy to be one of the people who will hopefully make something of it here.

We do have the Roswell Little Theater here in Roswell and I hope to form a healthy, amicable relationship with them. I plan to work with them as much as they are willing to; there is no reason for competition. The more options of things to do in this town the better! And if it all goes as planned, its the beginning of great things to come.

Of course there is always a chance that it will fail miserably and this will be my swan song as a director, but hey, that's the chance you gotta take.

So, make your plans now: November 17-19, 2006. ENMU-R presents: "The Importance of Being Earnest". The first 20 out of towners to respond to this post will receive free tickets to all three performances and a beer. That's right, a beer!

Even Roswell...

every once in a while gets some press. Yesterday I had the pleasure of getting to hang out with Jimmy Santiago Baca for a bit (yes, smoking has its advantages...while everybody is inside, it was me and Jimmy shotting the shit outside). For those of you who might not know who he is, Baca is a poet, novelist and movie maker with more then 14 books to his credit and he made the film "Blood in, Blood out". He's taken in most of the awards there are to get in the field. So needless to say, getting him at our school to give a talk, reading and workshop was a pretty big deal for us.

Let me start my review of his visit by telling you how wonderful of a person Mr. Baca is. It is apparent from the things he does in his life that he cares. He is on the road, working with underprivileged kids, explaining to them why they matter and how poetry matters. He himself has had a tough time of it, spending a long time in prison (where he began to read and write). He has turned down prestigious positions to keep up his work (though he has taken some of them for a while to pay the bills). He has a few travelling companions who were once on the outside of societies graces as well, and who now are poets. That's right, thugs-r-us and we are poets too. How you like me now! Mr. Baca's peeps were as enthusiatic as he was and great to talk to. One of them, Jason Yorcic, has recently got his first book published. I read it. It's not bad for a first book.

Anyway...enough of the ass-kissing. Here's my thought-provoking question of the day. Mr. Baca stresses experiencial writing; writing form experience. He says that's the only way to do it. My question is simple: Do poets like Baca and now Yorcic get the press and publications and awards because of their stories or their work? Does the fact that Baca has gone through so much make him a better poet? Or does it make him a sympathetic poet with a story worth hearing? I'm not sure what I think. I've read three of his books and I think they are okay. But, they speak to lots of people who love them and these are people who would usually scoff at any poetry. I actually have a lot more to say on the subject, but I am more interested in what y'all think.

Any thoughts?

Ouch...that smarts!!!

Monday. Monday. I hope all of your weekends went splendidly. Mine, well, let's just say not so great. Most of the weekend I spent grading papers and entering mid-term grades. Thank goodness that is finished.

But the weekend kicked off with a thud as I was a participant in the Knowledge Bowl. To get an idea of how it went, stick your index finger as far down your throat as you can. You'll know you are there when your plumbing starts going in reverse.

Yes, the Knowledge Bowl was that good. Let me just tell you, I suck. There are lots of excuses I could give (and I will), but the fact of the matter is that I was just no help. Out of a possible 90 questions asked in the three rounds our team was in, our team answered 21 correctly. Out of the 90, I would say only about 70 were answered correctly. 21 was not enough for us to advance to the finals. Of said 21 questions we got right, I correctly answered, hold on, let me count, oh yes, ZERO of them. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Goose Egg. Oh I looked good sure, with my Willie Nelson braids hanging down and my bandana around my head, but unfortunately I also was wearing his thinking cap. Hell, Willie probably would have gotten at least one question.

Now before you start thinking that the game was fixed, or that they only asked math questions, let me just say, it was fixed!!! They only asked Math questions!! No. not really. But, one of the problems is that evidently there is a study guide available on line (who knew) and many of the questions that were asked were directly from the study guide. Some of these people memorized the dang guide!! So they would ask a question "What French" BUZZ.. Answer: Costeau. That is correct. Next question. How can you compete with that. I wouldn't memorize the thing even if I knew it existed and had the time! So, many of the questions I might have known were answered before I knew the question!

Also, the answers bothered me. They would ask a poetry question and I would answer it correctly and they would tell me it wasn't the answer they were looking for. For instance, if they were to ask something like, "name one part of a book" and you said, "the cover", they would say, "I'm sorry, that's not the correct answer. The correct answer was "page". How frustrating is that!?!?!

Anyway, I better stop before my blood pressure goes through the roof. I'll just keep chanting my Lao Tzu mantra: Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...Those who say do not know; those who know do not say...

Much better.

Knowledge Bowl

Tonight I join an elite special task force specially selected to provide the answers to the seemingly unknowable in what is called: The Knowlegde Bowl.

Yes, our team, "The Willie Nelson Preservation Society", will be putting it all on the line as we battle other Grand Puppas in an intellectual bru-ha-ha. There's a rumble in Brighton tonight! Stand back! There's a hurricane coming! Not in the face! Not in the Face! Spoon!!!!

Why our team has that name, I do not know. What I do know is that somehow I got conned into getting braids and wearing a red bandana today. Will the Preservation Society have what it takes to defeat those who would snag our glory? Find out Monday in my next post titled: "Ouch That Smarts!" or "It gave me the Willies!" or "I got buzzed at the Knowledge Bowl"! Until then my fellow brainiacs, have a good weekend and don't be sniffing too much of the Einsteinium!

Misanthropic Poetica

In the last 3 or 4 weeks I have been convinced to put together a manuscript of my poetry to try to get it published. I have struggled with the idea for a long time with the usual questions one might ask oneself regarding putting together such a thing: Is my stuff any good? Who would want to publish it? What is the point of it? I mean, do I need other people to read my work? Do I really feel the need to get rejected over and over again and possible never get a bite?

Tough questions when your work is at stake. Of course, I should mention that its not as if I think my work is the greatest stuff ever inked. Heck, friends who I have the uptmost respect for have gently told me as much. The few publication credits I have are all poems I wouldn't choose to publish myself! But the fact is, there is alot of poetry out there I can't stand that has made its mark, so why not me? Critics of my work say it is too sophmoric, too accessable, and not up to the standard of what "real poetry" is. I won't argue. What do I know...I wrote it. But, I will say that my work is purposefully accessable. Maybe I read too much Taoist and Zen poetry in my life to get away from the simple. Truth and simplicity...what more can a poet aspire toward?

Anyway, with that in mind, I remembered my favorite lines of Moliere's "The Misanthrope". Alceste, while criticizing Oronte's horrible sonnet tells him, "Surely you're under no necessity to compose;/Why you would wish to publish, heaven knows./There's no excuse for printing tedious rot/Unless one writes for bread, as you do not./Resist tempatation, then, I beg of you;/Conceal your pastimes from public view." (Act I, Scene II, lines 174-179).

Why dear Alceste? Why indeed!

It's a bird, it's a plane...

It's an old british Police Box!?!?

You knew it couldn't be kept away from us for long, didn't you? The new Doctor Who series that ran its first season over the pond last year is coming to the best night of television: sci-fi fridays. That's right, starting March 19th (check your local listings), the Doctor makes his return to America. And this time there's no playing around. It isn't some cheesy Fox movie that sucked for us Doctor Who fans and for anybody else that watched it. No, this time it is for real, and you don't have to wait until 12:30am on a Sunday night to watch it on PBS. No interuptions from telethoners asking you to support great programing like this. You just get all of season one, in order, each week for three months.

Hopefully Sci-Fi will get season two next year. I have seen the whole of season one and it is fantastic. Of course, I have been a Who fan since I was a kid, but I think even those who have never seen it will get a kick out of it and those who might not have liked it in the past might also check it out.

So Sci-Fi hits the mark again. Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, the ever surprising Battlestar Gallactica and now Doctor Who! What will they think of next!?!?

Back to Front

"All the stories we've been told of kings and days of old, but there's no England now." Never have the words from The Kinks "Living on a Thin Line" been truer for Ray Davies, whose new CD "Other People's Lives" hit the market last week.

The legendary Brit Rocker has done something he rarely does in his work: he's taken it on the road, away from London. Sure, many Kinks songs are about traveling and life on the road, but most of the time the band is lost somewhere over the pond. One of the amazing things about the Kinks has been Ray's ability to touch an american heart with a British tale. I can picture places like Waterloo, Willsden Green, Muswell Hills, Berkely Mews and hundreds of foreign places just like that mentioned in the cannon of Kinks Geography.

"Other People's Lives" is different. It's about not being at home. It's about being in America. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a John Cougar Melloncamp album, but rather it is a look inside the fish tank from a fish who has just gotten the net. Much of the CD appears to have been inspired from the time, pre-hurricane, that Ray spent in New Orleans and his recovery from a gunshot wound he received there. Ray has never been so optimistic as to claim immortality or a long happy existence, and this collection will not dissapoint.

The fact is, Mr. Davies, for more years then my lifetime, has been doing one thing better then anyone else: writing thoughtful, wonderful, fantastic tunes. This CD is no different. He takes us on a journey with him and lets us sit back and enjoy the sometimes bumpy, sometimes joyous, but always worthwhile ride. If you are not a Kinks/Davies fan and claim not to "get it", you still won't, but for those of us who do, it is necter from the rock and roll gods.

"You sing 'em the blues and then they ask for a happy tune
And when you start to smile,
they'll say gimme dat rhythm and blues,
And when you give 'em dat rhythm and blues they'll simply smile and say
We didn't want to hear you play,
we didn't like you any way.
It's very hard to please the people every single time,
But look a little on the sunny side."
("Look a Little on the Sunny Side"...The Kinks)

Fire in the hole!

Okay...you're just not gonna believe this one. I have many things to write about regarding happenings over the last week and a half or so, but this one just could not wait.

I am in Las Cruces, New Mexico right now staying at the cities finiest hotel: the Hilton. Really. It's a nice hotel. I am at a relentlessly tedious conference on assessment and retention (more on that on another day). Anyway, I am down here in my room doing some work and I hear a gurggling noise from within the bathroom. Don't worry Spidey-friends, this is not one of those, guess what's crawling in Dan's bathtub stories.

No...as a matter of fact, I go to check it out and it seems there is some soap suds that have travelled up the drain. Not a whole bunch of suds, but rather a small amount. Hardly noticable. So, not thinking any thing of it, I decide while I am there to use the restroom. Now, without going into great detail, I am a guy and I was standing up, if you get my meaning. I flush the toilet, the water goes down as usual, no problems. Then, as I am washing my hands, I hear the noise again. Interesting, thinks I. Then it happens. All of a sudden, the noise takes on physical manifestation in the form of water shooting straight out of the toilet and into the air! Not only that (and no...the story has no disgusting ending), it's shooting up suds of foamy soap (thank goodness). The tank fills up with suds and overflows like on a sitcom where somebody doesn't know how to use a washing machine. The bathroom is full of suds, but the water finally stops. I call maintenence and they head right over and tell me, "I think there might be something wrong with your toilet, sir". While he is here, he get's a few calls from other people on the floor who are experiencing the same type of problem.

Terrorists?!?

In the time of Chimpanzees I was a monkey.

Ok-dokey friends. It looks like we will not all be quitting our jobs today. I just got back to Scottsdale a little lighter in the wallet (but somehow still heavier in the pants...weird). I'm still wearing my shirt which is good, but I'm feeling like it needs to be washed (if you know what I mean).

Since everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I will not reveal to you the moment by moment recap of the visit, but I will say we had some fun, even though I lost some dough.

Tomorrow it's back to Roswell for me, but for only a day. Wednesday I head on out to Las Cruces for a conference on retention and assessment (doesn't that just sound thrilling?). At least I can't lose any money there!

So until next time my loves, here's wishing you grape juice nights and spaghetti-o days.

A funny thing happened on the way to Scottsdale

Sorry no picture today. I am posting from location and slave to the tech available.

But anyway...Many of you know that I do alot of driving. I drive all over the place. Often, when driving any great distance, you have to expect coming across certain things that are going to hold you up: the unfortunite occurances of rush hour traffic when going through major cities, the occasional 30 car pile up that holds you up for a few hours, a truck full of milk collides with a truck full of chickens...whatever. It's bound to happen to you sooner or later.

This time was a new one on me. I was driving past Alamogordo, New Mexico when I got flagged down and was made to get in a huge line of cars. I had already passed an immigration check point earlier, so I couldn't figure out why I was stopped. I got out and asked the guard that had me park and was told that there was a missle test scheduled and that the highway would be closed for at least another hour. A missle?!?! I guess they don't want anybody driving along Rt. 70 and being struck by any miscellanous debris.

But I thought it was pretty cool. I've never been stopped for a missle before. Of course the worst part was that it held me up so long that by the time I got to Phoenix, I hit rush hour. I had specifically left Roswell at 6:00am so that I would hit no traffic. Best laid plans, eh? So what should of been a 9 1/2 hour drive turned into about 12. Not that big of a deal...and, I got to see a missle explode in the New Mexico sky. Yatzee!

Ka-Ching!

Good Wednesday friends. I don't have a whole lot of time this morning to post much, but I wanted to let y'all know that I will not be able to post for the next few days. No worries though, I'll be back to you next week.

Since I get off for President's Day and I don't have a class to teach until Tuesday evening, I decided this was a good time to take a road trip. So, I called Dr. Danny out in Scottsdale, Arizona and made plans for a visit.

I'll be driving out there tomorrow and then we'll hit Vegas Saturday and Sunday. Then back to Arizona until Tuesday. Wish me luck. If I hit the jackpot for big bucks out there I will share some of my winnings with anyone who responds to this post (except spammers and that kind of thing). See ya all soon. D.W.

It's your gang, Billy

Billy The Kid, William H. Bonney, William Antrim, who knows? One thing is for certain, Billy is part of a great mythology about the wild west. This weekend, I had the opportunity to head on down to Lincoln County, Nm with Doc Bender and take a look at one museum dedicated to the kid.

When pulling into Lincoln, one can only think that they have wasted their time. It's a one street town. No traffic light, no stop sign, just one stretch of highway 49 that is about as long as the street you live on. So, needless to say, I thought I was in for a yawner...a quick yawner, but a yawner still. Luckily, this was only stop number one of a planned three stop day.

What I found though was surprising. While it is true that there is not alot to see out there in Lincoln, what they did provide was interesting and educational. It's definitely a "stop by if your heading that direction anyway" kind of place. I thought I knew about as much as I needed to about Billy, but I quickly realized that a few minutes in the history books in grade school and a familiarity with "Young Guns" part one and two, were not enough to get a full grasp. Anyway...I won't bore you be giving y'all a history lesson here, but I just figured I share.

BTW....When going to any historical site, I strongly recommend taking your resident history expert with you. It's much better then just reading the signs! Gettysburg with Ed and Scott and now Lincoln County with Doc Bender...you just don't get more informed then that!

Where have all the good shows gone?

Well....since it has been more then a week since anybody has posted a response, I feel justified to write about something totally inane today.

This morning as I was waiting around to go to work, I caught an episode of Magnum, p.i. I had not seen before. This is not unusual since I never watched the show when it aired. But I have to tell you, I love that show now!

I'm not the biggest T.V. viewer these days. Don't get me wrong, I have the telly on quite often, but it is usually sports or news or one of the few shows I am hooked on (basically Sci-Fi Fridays, Numbers, Penn and Teller and Boondocks). It seems to me there just isn't anything really worth while out there. I loved the show Rome on HBO and definitely will que it up next season, but I have not been able to get myself into "The Sopranos" or "Deadwood". I can't get into any reality T.V. shows either and I have tried to catch on to other popular shows people tell me I have to see, but with no real success.

Instead, I look for old re-runs of shows from yesteryear; shows that I might have seen before or have seen a few. Like Magnum. I will watch Magnum any time it's on. I also look out for shows like: Banacek (With George Peppard), Poirot, Columbo, Berreta, What's Happening?, Sanford and Son, Good Times, Taxi, and WKRP. T.V. just taint what it used to be.

Please tell me I am wrong. I would love to hear some suggestions telling me what Tivo should save for me.

Everybody has a price...

Right?

I'm teaching Marlowe's "Faustus" this week and started to really think about what it would be like to sell one's soul. Of course you have to believe that there is such a thing as a soul to begin with or the whole thing is off. That was the good doctor's initial thought though. No such thing as devils and demons, so why not sell your soul. If you don't believe in Hell then you obviously can't end up there.
Now when good old Mephistopheles shows up, you'd think Faustus would change his tune, but of course he does not and our story begins.

If I had a soul (or a brain), would I sell it? And what would be my price? What would you need to get in return for your soul? Think about it. The human body is said to, on average, be worth about 80,000 buckaroos (your skin, about 4 bucks). That's a lot of payola, and that's just for your physical essence. You know, the part that only lasts about 70 some odd years. On the black market, your body would be worth a whole lot more. You could probably get 80,000 easy just for a kidney! But what about your soul; that part of you that is supposed to go for eternity? Eternity is a really long time...plus 1! I mean, you can't even multiply the value by the year; it still comes up infinity! So how do we go about valuing our soul? And is everybody's soul of equal value? Well, I have come up with some suggestions:

1. The concept of value is an interesting thing. Moliere said simply enough, "Things only have the value that we give them." So if you know what you want for your soul, my suggestion is to sell it on e-bay. Put a good starting price on it. It might be worth more than you think. And on e-bay, you are assured that you won't get less then your initial asking price. Though I have to tell you, souls just aren't selling like you'd think over there...unconditional Human Soul...only up to about 75 bucks as of today. Another goof is selling her soul, but with much less success...only 5 bucks so far. Going back to Moliere, I would suggest assigning a much higher value than these palookas did. We all know that people think things are better when they cost more. Don't low-ball your soul for God's sake (or even the devils!)!

2. If e-bay isn't your style, I would suggest leasing your soul for a while. Get your soul out there and see how it does with somebody else for a few years. After that you can decide if you can go on without it for eternity. Worse thing that happens is that you are like 85% of the rest of the world and you go around soulless for a few years.

3. If you absolutely need to sell your soul, try selling it to somebody good first. There is no rule that says you have to sell it to the devil. We all just assume that's what we mean when we contemplate this big step in our lives. Try selling it to somebody you know who has a good heart!

4. If you are more concerned with the quality of life your soul will have, screw the "big heart" garbage and sell your soul to somebody rich. That way, you get the best of both worlds. You can score some great quick cash, and your soul goes to someone with enough money to take good care of it. Just watch out...some of those billionaires out there could be the devil in disguise.

5. Last, don't sell your soul when you are desperate. That's the worst time to get optimal value. People tend to sell their souls when they are in a bind and get almost nothing for it: a couple of bucks to get you through the week, 100 bucks so Billy the Brute don't cut you up on Friday, spare change... Be smart and sell your soul when the market is right and it will be a much more worthwhile endeavor.

Me, I'm having a hard enough time not selling my soul for a bookstore, coffee shop, or good slice of pizza!

Steeler Time!

Well...I felt an obligation to write a little bit about the SuperBowl today. First let me send congrats to all of my Pittsburgh loving fans. They can be just as much pains in the butts as Dallas fans when they win, but win they did.

If you watched the same game I did, you saw nothing of real interest unless you are a Steeler fan. I had fun with the friends I watched it with, but besides that, kinda ho-hum. The Seahawks looked like they could have made a game on it, but they shot themselves in the foot more times then Don Knotts did on Andy Griffith's show.

And...the commercials kinda sucked too. Plus...did you see the national anthem?? Horrible...Areatha (I ate my children) Franklin and Aaron (so that's how steriods can affect your manhood) Neville gave one of the worst renditions ever! And I know some of you are Stones fans, but isn't it time for them to just go away? Horrible.

Anyway...congrats Steelers...go Flyers...and come on Phillies!

Evil gets back to work...

So here we are. I never like writing politics; I don't know a whole lot about what is going on. Don't get me wrong. I watch the news and read the paper and keep up with what is happening here and abroad, but I don't know much about it. Call me ignorant ( you're ignorant), but I truly believe that there are a handful of people in the world who actually do know what is going on, and I am certainly not one of them. I have my opinions about everything, but, without the necessary information, how can I give them and add any insight? I simply know I don't know...and that my friends, can be a pretty frustrating world to be in.

That being said, I really hope to aggravate some of you the way I have been aggravated recently. If I could represent the sound of regurgitation well enough that it would make your stomach turn when you read it, trust me, this entry today would be covered in puke. Let me explain. Disclaimer...I meant what I said above. The following is not in support or against any political party or agenda. If you ask me, Democrat, Republican, it all brings up the same puke noise and distaste in my stomach.

I was watching the news after the president's talk last night. It was CNN and specifically, Wolf Blitzer (whose mere voice tears at the inner fiber of my being). He was showing the results of a poll that was taken after the address. Maybe you saw it. The poll is to determine people's reaction to the address as either positive, negative or undecided. Blitzer said at least 5 if not more times to remember that the only people who took part in the poll were people who actually watched the speech and that those who didn't watch were not represented. His claim was that most of the people who watched were Bush supporters and that the number would reflect that. Here's what bothered me. The poll was a poll designed to rate the address. Of course the respondents were people who heard the speech!!! How else could they be polled to rate it!?!? Oh....my....god!! I was so pissed off I could hardly contain myself (hence the rant).

Then they bring out the minority leader for the democratic party. She was interviewed by Anderson Cooper, who for some reason, even though he looks like a spoiled brat that need to get beat up on the playground, I actually like. But, the interview was revolting. Do they bring these people on so that we hate them all. When John McCain gets on the tube and says we all have to learn to get along...when John McCain is the only one in the world making sense...that's when I turn the cartoon network back on and look for an episode of the Boondocks (which btw has been getting bad press lately, especially from genius Al Sharpton),

Okay...last...the evil count was surprisingly low last night. I believe Gorgy-boy only mentioned the Big E twice:

" But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil." (so when Evil knocks upon your door...just say no!!)
and...

"We are the Nation that saved liberty in Europe, and liberated death camps, and helped raise up democracies, and faced down an evil empire." (Oh yeah...the death star...well remember...the evil empire will strike back!)

Okay...I can't keep going. How do you political types keep going day after day, writing pages and pages on this sickening garbage!?!? Turn on some wrastling instead...you'll be much happier. There are guys there who are bad guys and know it. They do evil because they like it; they twist their Rollie Fingers mustaches and tie the girl to the train tracks. And I love them for it.

Evil takes a holiday...

Evil. What is it? Is it something we can define? Can we put our fingers on the pulse of evil and say, "Aha! There it is!"? I'm not so sure. Tonight, when you are watching the leader of the free world address us as a nation and the rest of the people with TVs or radios around the world, I'd like you to listen for the word. How is it used? In what context? And really think...what is evil?

If you take a look at the common definition for the term, typically you will find one of two things: "morally bad or wrong" or "causing ruin, injury or pain". Both seem adequate at first, but then the obvious questions arise: What is the definition, not our definition of Morally? My morals or yours? And if we can not come to a happy conclusion for that, then we have to throw that definition out the window, But lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

The second part of the definition deals with injury, pain and ruin and the cause of it. Again, it sounds okay and I think it starts getting to what evil might be, but there are problems. It's a matter of both significance and intent. Examples: Causing ruin...when I first arrived in Roswell, my colleagues did many things to make me feel welcome. One thing they did was to give me a nice plant. That plant is dead now. Why? Because I went to Philly for the holidays and it didn't get watered. Ruined...definitely. Evil...hardly. I also ruined one of my brother's great etch-a-sketch masterpieces once when I was a kid. Evil?

How about injury? I stubbed my toe yesterday on my living room table. It was late. I was thirsty. Evil table? It caused my injury and pain? You might say, no Dan, your own negligence caused that pain. You could be right...does that make my negligence evil? Or is there some way to determine that I might be evil from this experience? No...the fact is that we cause ruin, pain and injury and are harmful all the time. It's not necessarily evil. It might just be stupid, ignorant or not compassionate. So we can throw the baby now.

So, if you can't trust the dictionary, who can you trust? Maybe Voltaire was on to something. When he wrote his definition of "Free-Will" in his "Philosophical Dictionary" he included this thought: "Either everything is the sequence of the necessity of the nature of things, or everything is the effect of the eternal order of an absolute master; in both cases we are only wheels in the machine of the world." If this is the case, how can anyone be evil?

I say, Evil just aint what it used to be. You might disagree, but in my estimation, Evil is the absence of intent. It is un-agenda. It is reasonless and meaningless...without motive. If you have motive or agenda, you might be wrong in someone's eyes, but you are probably right in your own. You might be causing some harm, but you probably think you are saving someone else's. Don't get me wrong, this is not a defense in any way shape or form of killing people or terrorism or any of that stuff, it's just a thought. Nobody looks in the mirror in the morning and says to themselves, "Ok...I'm evil. What evil things am I going to do today".

I'll leave it at that for now and await your responses. This was all egged on by a radio broadcast I heard this morning where the host asked her audience: Do we really want to live in a world where we 'humanize' our enemies?. I'm no tree hugging hippie here, but, uh, maybe a good deal of humanizing on a global scale might do some good for a change.

Happy Birthday Wolfgang!

250 Years old and still kicking! Well...at least his music is. Today, all around the world there will be a celebration. Many a concert, school children learning, and a whole lot of us just sitting back and listening to what we have.

You can check out some info on Mozart over at the BBC. They've got some audio you can sample and some interesting facts about the man and his music. For more of an academic look regarding anything Mozart, check out the Mozart Project.

Of course, if you're like me, you'll run out and buy the CD "Dead Winter Dead" by Savatage, which includes the awesome track, "Mozart and Madness". This is also the CD that originally had what later became Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve (Sarajevo 12/24) which has boomed in the last few years. You know the one...it's played on every football game when they go to commercial at Christmas time and used in almost every commercial! Anyway...it's a great CD and it's not filled with Christmas music at all.